Rising Star

Today's Cletus: Cletus auditions for the Broadway musical version of 'Chinatown.'

Karma Cleetmeleon

Today's Cletus: Unlike its musical cousin, the North American Cleetmeleon does not come and go, come and go, come and go oh oh oh: it drips a deadly solution of kitty litter and Cheetoh's onto your white sheets.

Like a Rolling Stone

Today's Cletus: Rejected photo for "The Meowth that Roared" Rolling Stone cover story. (Cover story chosen after success of debut album "Smells Like Tuna Spirit.")

No Gnome

Today's Cletus: No, no, look, I want to hear about your day. Just give me a minute.

Of Fear and Chocolate

Today's Cletus: I smell your fear. And Ho-Hos.

Def Leppardish

Today's Cletus: Ppppoooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrr sommmmmmmmme sssssuuuuuuugggaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh on mmmmmeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fluff n Stuff

Today's Cletus: Tail cam.

Anna-Lou's Man

Today's Cletus: Outtake from Leibovitz's 'The Cletus Sessions.'

Finnemies

Today's Cletus: I thought you were going to get dow... but you said... and then I jum... awkward.

Zak Attack

Today's Cletus: Zak Galifianakis signs for 'The Hangover 2: Octsober Fest.' Variety version: Fast Facts: Zak's Back, Attacks Zan-ax

Pillowy

Today's Cletus: Precious. Alternate Cletus: Pillowcious.

The Late Show

Today's Cletus: Morty, are we okay on time? How we doin' on time? ... alright, we'll be right back with Jungle Jack Hanna and Sonic Youth, everybody.

So Sleepy

Today's Cletus: Can't sleep, wolves'll get me.

Yes We Can

Today's Cletus: What my opponent doesn't want you to know is how, if he's elected new house pet, you'll never sleep in again. That's right, Cletus is a beggar. He wants food ALL the time! Food you work hard for! Food you buy with your hard earned dollars. Ladies and gentlemen of the house, I ask, after the constant debacle that is Sweetpea being able to sleep past 6 a.m., do you really want another whiney, loud pet inside? Do me a favor when you vote in the primary tomorrow, and vote Pinochle, the gnome for your home, the clear choice.

Chester the Grouch

Today's Cletus: Blah blah blah. Cry me a river, princess. I got problems too. This face don't smush itself.

One and Two and Three and Lift

Today's Cletus: Cleetin' to the Oldies 4 Leg Blast and Tone.

Gams, I Say

Today's Cletus: Hello Mabel? Get me Dogpatch 423, fast. There's a Sheba I met at ritzy join that I'm stuck on. That's right, gams till Tuesday!

Whiskers Win

Today's Cletus: Whiskers vs. Fluff.

Mad Dash

Today's Cletus: That's her officer, that's the woman who swatted me.

Viva Cleet

Today's Cletus: Preview of preliminary album art for new album 'Viva Cleet: the Best of Cleetussey.'

Air Cletus

Today's Cletus: That Cletus has Air Jordans on!